We're like a lot better than the average bears
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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