I skipped work to stalk him.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
