david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
