if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
