i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
