he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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