Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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