i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
