I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
