No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
