Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
