It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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