There is no way he is gay with that hair.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
