I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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