The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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