Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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