Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize