She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
