Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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