No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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