Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
