Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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