He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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