So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she told me i tasted like america
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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