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• (905): View more from Toronto

  She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Got yourself a keeper right there.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

  (760): View more from California

  You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?

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• (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.

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