Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
