her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
