This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
