what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
