Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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