someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
