Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
