Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
