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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
