we have pet lesbian snakes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
