Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
