at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
