Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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