Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
