it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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