Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
