Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
