Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
