Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
