The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
