Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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