if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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