She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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