you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
