DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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